Be Heartless :(

Assalamualaikum.

Hi! Today, I have no mood.

It's okay if I had to start the conversation, but I hate of being the person who ended the conversation. Nampak macam aku yang beriya mahukan kau. Lol. At least if u want to end up the conversation jangan lah blah macam tu.  Said something, "okayla nak tidur, okayla awak saya bosan dengan awak". And paling perit bila, aku posts apa-apa and kau like. Perghh. Nampak tak kau online but kau memang saja nak tak nak reply. Last ayat aku bukan ok ok atau hmm, aku tanya kau kot, aku soal kau kot. 

You have to remember this "if I open up to you, then u're absolutely special to me".  Can I be a heartless girl? I hate this feeling, the feeling when i'm trying to forget A! and I open up to you and suddenly u also broke my heart. Dump me as what u want. Maybe you don't know how hard I am to fall in love again and to open my heart for someone else. It's take time and slowly I could forget A! when you entered my entire life. I felt glad you come, you've being so special. Tapi kau taktau semua tu. Asyik aku yang mulakan semua benda. Aku sedih. Aku perit.

I told Awin about this and awin replied. "If there's a someone make you feeling down, then, wake up because of ALLAH because He is the best Protector, He is our Creator, He is our Sustainer and the one who has Power over all.
Then, I don't know why I told A! about this. Then he replied, someday we will meet, and that time tell me everything and whatever that make you feel sad, trust me.
Fyqa send me this, one day he will regret of treating the girl who done everything and fight for him.

note : never make somebody your everything, when they're gone, you've got nothing.

Build New Friendship :)

Assalamualaikum, hi. Post yang ketiga untuk harini. Hamek kau. Lama tak mengadu nasib menaip. Hahaha.

Kita nak cakap kita seronok kerja part time haritu. Huhuhuu. Rindu sangat. Bila la dapat together-gether lagi macam 13 hari masatu. Lepak, borak makan, lipat baju, lipat seluar, layan customers yang mengada-ngada. Dah badan tu besar, nak cari seluar kat kaunter aku. Pastu bila dah takde marah-marah. Aku last-last kena maki dengan Super aku. Geram pulak kita. But, semua tu aku dapat atasi dengan ada kawan-kawan. Cewahh ayat. Haha. Even yang sebaya hanya aku berlima je yang lain semua abang long Fadhil dan akak yong. Lol. Tapi seriously, diorang sporting. Best giler. Hmmm. Bukan nak cakap kerja kat Parkson dulu tak best, best sebab dapat promoter yang sporting yang suka layan perangai aku yang gila-gila macam Ah Geok dan super yang sporting. Huhu super aku dulu suka seludup makanan pastu bagi aku suruh makan. Kawan kawan pun okay. Tapi bila kat TS ni aku rasa circle of friendship aku becomes wider la weyh. Sebab aku terpaksa kawan dengan akak and abang. Hahaha. Diorang dahla banyak ceghita. Setiap hari gossip, Kpop la. Hahaha. Lagi satu, kat TS, HR dia tak kisah, tak macam Maya, garang nak mampus. Tu je yang aku tak suka kat Parkson. Kat TS yang aku tak suka aku dapat promoter dan super yang tak okay. Huhhh. Dahla tak tolong aku, pastu bila jumpa dia marah aku dia cakap, sepanjang 13 hari awak buat apa. Aku paling tak suka orang pertikaikan apa yang aku dah buat, padahal dia takde kat situ sepanjang 12 hari. Nampak dia nak demand macam tu. Macam bangang. LOL.

Tapi friendship kiteorang semakin utuh. Hahaha. Ayat skema. Lol. Diorang semua abang2 akak2. Haha aku dengan geng aku je lapanbelas. Huhu. Aku panggil diorg pun kak. abang. Hahaha. Tapi ada sorang abang ni. Aku tak boleh nak panggil abg. Aku mesti panggil dia nama je. Hahahaaa. Kawan aku cakap aku menggatal senanya. Aku pun pelik tak bole sangat2 nak panggil abang. So kiteorang borak bahasakan diri dengan nama. Lol pelik gile tapi tula. Tak tau la kalau jumpa face to face lagi nanti. Hahaha. Mau tergelak guling- guling kat situ. Ada yang lapan belas tapi muka dah tua nampak sebaya je dgn abg2 long tu. Hahaha. Btw, aku harap kiteorang still keep in touch macam sekarang.

Tengok la, aku tetap yang paling pendek. Sedih

Geng gua. Hahaha. Awin Tasya Hao. 

Dilema. Diploma Atau Matriks

Assalamualaikum Hi semua lama tak post kan? Nah amek 2 posts terus.

ATAU

Masing-masing ada kebaikan mereka yang tersendiri. Hati aku lebih kepada diploma. Tapi ayah aku macam tak bagi. Dia asyik sebut matrik je. Aku paham dia nampak matrik lebih terjamin. Aku terpaksa akur la. Tak ikut kang jadi anak derhaka pulak. Terpaksa jaga hati ayah. Terpaksa sedapkan hati dia. Terpaksa cari reda Ayah untuk dapat reda Allah. Allahu tabahkan aku. But, aku harap masih ada selit teipi-tepi ayah ubah fikiran. Harapla. Kalau tak aku terpaksa pergi KMM. hmm. Nampak UITM Arau. Jauh sangat kan? Aku pun takut susah nak balik. Aku harap time degree, aku boleh decide sendiri untuk diri aku nak pergi Uni apa.   Kepada siapa-siapa yang dah boleh terus diploma, harap korang happy. Bestla decide sendiri untuk diri sendiri. Untang ahhh. :( Tapi aku nak cakap, sepanjang lapanbelas tahun ni aku tak pernah bantah satu benda pun yang ayah suruh buat. Even masa kena masuk Sasem. Walaupun macam-macam aku lalui, aku tabahkan je 2 tahun kat sana. Ayah cuma tahu aku ikut cakap dia. Dia tak tau aku ni rela ke tak reda ke tak. Dia tak pernah tanya. Ayah susah nak ubah fikiran dia. Dia selalu rasa dia je yang betul.


note: aku takde hak lagi untuk memilih apa-apa even benda tu untuk diri aku. Ayah selalu tak bagi aku buat apa yang aku minat. Nampak tak? Aku masih tak boleh nak decide sendiri macam kanak-kanak ribena LAPANBELAS tahun yang lain. Sigh. :/

First Time Travelling (THROWBACK) Part II

Continue Part II. Entry before Part I

Monday

went to school as usual by Angkot. but I really excited wanted to go to school cause I wanted to meet someone. Hehe. :D We had to gather at school compound to get ready for Monday assembly. Well, being an exchange student we still had to study. That's why each of us had attend the P&P in our class. In class, we started a P&P by reading Quran first. In Bandung, BI (Bahasa Indonesia) is an universal language. Sunda language also important to learn here because most of the people here are Sundanese. They also charged their phones or laptops during P&P. I felt like "wow". I really want to continue school here. During recess, I tried mee Indonesia. How cool this school is. At canteen, we could bought "maggi goreng". We could also bought from Kantin Kejururan. At, Kantin Kejujuran we had just to put the money and took the foods. There is no one there. Today all of us decided to take angkot to go home this day. Today, for dinner, my family brought me eating sate padang. I also tried fresh mango juice. the juice was really "pekat".

 

Adhika from 9A. He was 13 y/o but he already 9th Grade because he is intelligent and genius maybe.

 

Tuesday,

The following day, after had some learning in class, we had a trip to Lembang. It is where the Gunung Takuban Parahu is situated. Gunung Takuban Parahu is a dormant volcano. The name of Takuban Parahu translates roughly to "upturned boat" in Sundanese referring a local legend of Sangkuriang. Before got up to the Gunung, the bus stopped at the office that has a machine that can check the volcano's activity status. Behind the office, I could saw a tea plantation. I feel like I was at Cameron Highland even I never been there. Guilty! Serious talk, I never go to Cameron Highland. Sadlife.

 

Then, the bus stopped again at the minivan station to continue went up Gunung. We had to pay for the entrance but I think our partners had support us. Ngehngeh. :D As we arrived, there was about cloudy. We could feel the cool weather here. Sulfur gas everywhere and we could smell it. It was an awe-inspiring sight of emanating sulfur fumes. 

 

Teacher gave us chances to do what we want. We decided to walk circle around the crater. When we walked, I just saw only four of us. Iman, Ali, Fadhli and I. Where the others?  We just walked without worrying cause had Ali and Fadhli, SMPN2 students. Suddenly, I couldn't balance myself and felt because it was slippery. There was a nenek shouted at us in a sudden, "Siapa yang jatuh kat sini, dia akan nikah awal". We're just shocked. The trail become more steep and slippery so we decided to go back to the starting point. We're afraid. Grrr! When we safely arrived at the starting point we're at before, it was raining heavily. The temperature dropped and cool. We "fefeeling" like at Korea. Cause the fog was everywhere and when  we started to talk the like "asap" out of the mouth. The water was too cold when we wanted to take wudhu'. After that, like every other tourist attraction, the trip would not complete without passing by the rows of souvenirs shops, so we bought some souvenirs.

 

Next, we went to Sari Ater Hot Spring at the slope of Gunung Takuban Parahu. Here, we swam in warm mineral water pools, good in healing skin problems.

We left Sari Ater was about 5.30p.m. First time in my life, I performed Solat Maghrib in bus. First time I took tayamum by using "debu" in the bus. The SMPN2 students taught us about it. They said, we can do like this when we don't know where and when to stop. At last, we reached SMPN2 at eight pm. Then, ibu took us to eat nasi with bebek.

Wednesday,

Like the days before, but today, I spent a lot of time at school, because after P&P Athiya had practiced. But today, was little bit different cause I have many new friends today. Hikshiks. How I could be friends to them? Just because, I sat alone at the corridor and they came to me asked why I was alone there. I just said, "Mereka ada practice tapi, aku lagi tak tahu di mana mereka sekarang." They replied, "Tak apa, kamu masih ada kami." Then, we talked about Upin Ipin. They asked me to spell AYAM in Upin Ipin's way. They said they tried but couldn't same as Upin Ipin. From that moment they called me Upin Ipin. We laughed. I feel glad because they still remember me until now even they didn't BCCC members and didn't same Grade. I could see how close they are with their friends. I proud of them. This day I started to feel sad cause doesn't have much time to meet and spend time with them. When arrive home, I started chit chat with Athiya. Haha. I felt happy have Athiya's family.

Thursday,

This day, I didn't mind cause I already could adapt with the school. As usual, I went to 9A every morning there and I enjoyed myself watch them and their funny attitudes. Then, about recess time, I went again to 9A.  They asked me to teach them Math. Haha. Believe or not, I didnt feel guilty doing something I never do at Malaysia. I could find myself being a talkative person and didn't afraid to talk to strangers. I felt happy could see a little positive changes in myself.

 

 

Of course, I will be boring to be only studying, what's more, I supposed to experience everything, culture, food, and enjoy the beautiful scenery of the surrounding here before going back Malaysia. So, we had angklung practiced and collaborated with team from SMPN2. We played Ignorane, and Kopi Dangdut songs. I really enjoyed this activities. Then, I just sat with SMPN2 students and we talked much about ourselves.

Friday,

They held a farewell ceremony. Eh? Dunno. More to cultural exchange ceremony. This day, we had to wear our traditional costumes. Haha, as usual I only wore baju kurung. It is the simplest and easy to bring. First of all for this day was first cultural performance which represented by SMPN2 students that successfully attracted the audiences. Then, next performance was represented by STK students and we performed Endang Dance. Next, we have to play angklung with SMPN2 team. I felt so sad and didn't stop crying after all students there kept hugging one by one each of us.  After solat Jumaat, that afternoon session was filled by visiting again. We went to Pasar Baru.  We went to Pasar Baru by angkot same as when back home. When we back, there was a beggar entered the angkot, he played guitar. After first stop, he asked for money and we pretend didn't know anything. He became angry and out of the angkot. That time I felt so scared if his behaviors becomes more wild in a sudden. Alhamdullilah nothing bad happen. We safely arrived home.

 

Saturday,

Today was last day at Bandung. I woke a little bit late cause last night I spend my night with my foster family. Talked about me. Then my family sent me to Bnadara Hussain Sastranegara Airport (BDO). I felt really hard to leave all the sweet moments. I kept replaying SMASH // I Heart You and Firman // Kehilangan in the cars. See, that Kehilangan songs was already famous there about 4 years ago and now baru je famous here.    Then, our flight was about 11.00 am here. Sobs, sobs. Before enter the entrance, there was someone gave me something and he said someone gave me and he couldn't came to give to me directly.

All the people involved in this 10 days programme were willing to network an endless friendship and enhance me to be more friendly with the new people I met. I really appreciate this. Special thanks again to my foster family and friends there also all unmentioned people related to success this programme.  Deep in my heart I felt so touched. This was my first time travelling and yet I got many new things.  Deep in my heart I felt so touched. This was my first time travelling and yet I got many new things. To be honest, believe it or not my second time visiting here was not as awesome as this first time. My second time was around 2013 with my family. I will definitely be back here again for third time. Amin.  

MY FOSTER FAMILY

Yang sangat nak travel balik waktu ni,

Fatehah Jamil.