YOU!

Every year, my raya mood will turn to be hambar. It was like a very common day. Im sad Ramadan left us. Hmm. Im just afraid if we cant meet again next year. How it all could be. Then, next Ramadhan will full of throwbacks, either it worse or best memories. Ramadan this year was full of throwbacks. I bet next year I will miss all this. 

Im just on dilemma in making decision to stay or just move on. Long sigh. I know u lost your phone. I know u're trying very hard to not lose contact. But is it me to be the first step again? And what you do? Dump me again after that right? Sometime I feel to stay but sometime I feel Im just wasting my time. My bae, my smoker, could you stop torturing me, THE PERSON WHO LOVE/LIKE/ADORE/CRUSH ON YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. I don know what to do again. and again, you did the same mistakes. I asked you, I've waited the answers for many days and then I saw your post updated. But you don't reply my answer yet. If you are in my place what you feel? What you think? In my mind now, you're just wait someone call you, pretend don't know everything. Ea Bodohnya aku suka kau.  Maybe I don't know what really happened. I think this eid is hurt me because of you. I'm training myself to be HEARTLESS. Cant you feel the pain that u placed in my heart? Im asking youuuuu, please answer. Is it so hard. First thing I want you to know is, Iftar with u is one of my wishlist. But what your answer, many statement u gave to me. "next time jelah, masa tak mengizinkan. then u said, I said it random so u didn't notice that. What the ==" Then, I asked you what? Beraya kat mana? Takkan tu tak reti reply jugak? You make me sad this Syawal. T.T


I KNOW YOU HATE ME MUCH BECAUSE IM JUST DISTURBANCE OF YOUR LIFE, IM NOT A PRETTY GIRL, NOT A GORGEOUS PEOPLE,  IM NOBODY TO YOU, I REALIZE THAT. YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME THINK IM JUST AN UGLY GIRL WHO CHASING A PRINCE CHARMING.

"You love to hate me when I'm chasing youAnd I hate to say this but I'm stuck on loving youSo I pretend that I don't careI'll stand you up to keep you hereI'll make you hate me just enough to make you want meI'll misbehave if it turns you onNo Mr. Right if you want Mr. WrongI'll tell you liesIf you don't like the truth"

I Want It That Way

Assalamualaikum. Salam Ramadhan uolls.
I never care whether the answer is not or yes or just maybe. But you really hurt me for the 3467745677912345675979 times. I never thought this Ramadan I will know you as someone that I used to know. WHY DON'T YOU JUST APPRECIATED SOMEONE THAT REALLY LIKE YOU? I know you can list as much as you want the reason why you don't  want to appreciate someone that really accept you for who you are. But I know the primary reason why. Because I'm not pretty at all compared to other girls that chased you outside there. It's a legit reason and no one can deny it. You preferred to choose them rather than me because they are pretty, perfect, fabulous, gorgeous and awesome. I know, i'm not that type of typical girl. Sometimes I just thought why must I know you, the end will be like this, painful inside. I never think about this before. Why? Why? Allah it's so hurt. I never asked for this to happen to me. If I know this will be happened I never want to know him at all. Seriously. This is one of the toughest test of qadr. Oh Allah ease my pain and help me content with Your Qard. I have to believe the destiny that has been written for me. So just go on finding the perfect one, i hope u can meet her. The beautiful, thin, pretty, gorgeous and fabulous girl. I know you have numbers of admire to choose that's why you put on the out of list because of im not pretty as other girl. IT'S OKAY. I'M FINE WITH THAT KIND OF DISCRIMINATION.

Life.

Assalaumalaikum, and good morning everyoneee. I recently in my room at KMM. Lol, this week was so busy and everyone here said the same thing to. Lol. Many lab reports to submit next week. Every week 3 lab reports. Everyday eight hours classes. I miss MPBB week seriously. I have no choice to choose, so if I will or not, I have to stay here for another 10 months. Maybe next week I will be on different class if my request to switch module is approved.

Actually before that, I already cried all over because there's someone that broke my heart again. Y dont he just stay as a friend, y don't he try to act normally like before and the important is y don't he say sorry. Im waiting for u everyday every night. Then, u can just say, "aku taknak bagi harapan kat sapa2, pliss paham". That's mean u wanna left me like what my past A! left me right. Maybe u donno what happens to me before and how i struggled to deal with that. Its hard. A! left me without words. When im with u im just hoping after a long time i didn't fall in love after A!, I will try to fall in love again with someone that ordinary and im just close my eyes when I fall in love with you because IM IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH ALL YOUR LITTLE THINGS. You are perfect to me. I tried my best to be the one who always care about you even Im busy right here. I will add the time to accompany you. Ive done my part, y not u just accept me as who I am. Try to talk again, try to make a conversation again. Don't leave me. I can't let you go. I dont want the same thing happen again in my entire life. Please stay but Im not gonna try to start a conversation anymore and I will be left and dump in the middle of it. Enough you just say sorry, I wait for that word if you do, I will forget  everything u've done that hurt me so much. Easy right but y u're such a bodoh guy that never know the most powerful word is sorry.

note : And you know that you can take all of me. I swear I will be better than before. No I can't let you go. I hope you know you never left my head and if I ever let you down I'm sorry.